Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
