Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.