i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life