Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

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  (401): They should make Glad Forceflex condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnot
  Replies (12) Good night (5938) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the worst part is we had a camera rolling

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to watch that.

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  (215): the worst part is we had a camera rolling (267): Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys? (215): Yes. (267): I have to watch that. http://tfl.nu/u325
  Replies (30) Good night (5481) Bad night (1553)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.

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  (913): My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/e4gb
  Replies (8) Good night (2027) Bad night (880)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun

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  (315): I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun http://tfl.nu/s1lu
  Replies (3) Good night (1749) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

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  (949): Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless. http://tfl.nu/j4zx
  Replies (4) Good night (2308) Bad night (662)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  since 2006

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  (207): someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship? (1-207): since 2006 http://tfl.nu/9t6c
  Replies (7) Good night (2357) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

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  (818): Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now) http://tfl.nu/gh6j
  Replies (23) Good night (808) Bad night (1268)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina

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  (414): I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina http://tfl.nu/a948
  Replies (8) Good night (580) Bad night (1085)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

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  (716): I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects. http://tfl.nu/fv1m
  Replies (1) Good night (1435) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.

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  (907): I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/mxr7
  Replies (6) Good night (1037) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you win?

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  (803): My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game." (1-803): Did you win? http://tfl.nu/8s69
  Replies (10) Good night (2458) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.

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  (847): It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks. http://tfl.nu/gfjz
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.

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  (360): I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin. http://tfl.nu/4get
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (313)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone

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  (603): last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/pux0
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again

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  (512): Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again http://tfl.nu/zxqw
  Replies (2) Good night (333) Bad night (522)

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