So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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