I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
