Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
