ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
