I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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