WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
