you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
that's an acceptable place to lick
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
vagina is talking i cant
i dont even know how to be here
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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