Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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