i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
