I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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