I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
