fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
