Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
