and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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