Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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