So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
