I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
