You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
