Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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