We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
