hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
