I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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