The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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