did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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