it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
