Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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