She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
