Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize