At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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