Quick, to the slutcave!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
