I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize