So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
