She is in my trunk
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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