Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need to sanitize my soul.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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