Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
