He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny