if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
