i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Your dad touched me again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
