well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
