It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
