Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
