please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
