I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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