It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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