The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
