He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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