we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
