when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
