Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
