Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
