Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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