I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
