Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
