okay pat passed out under dana's car
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
