yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
