Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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