Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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