it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
