I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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