She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
